The Festering Wound of Typography

This may be a tad cliche to whine and scream and bitch about Comic Sans, but I think I have an interesting approach to doing so...

Comic Sans is the root of all evil in the universe. The font was designed to replicate the look and feel of the text represented in Comic Books, while boiling down the stylistic elements of comic text for practical and universal application.

That doesn't sound so bad. It's kind of cheeky. It's nice. It's cute.

The reason this particular font is the modern crucifixion of all things good and right in our civilization of visual communication is this: Comic Sans, while attempting to replicate the look and feel of a medium that relies on several other elements to properly communicate for use beyond that initial medium, cheapens its source material and prolongs (and even contributes to) the downfall of the hand-written script.

Let's talk about the content of this statement, and not talk about how lengthy it is. I say it has this effect on the modern hand-written script because it, by nature as a typeface, is broken intentionally. "Comic Book script" is the way it is to FIT ITS INTENDED APPLICATION... I am sure that when typing a memo, the people that write in comics do not want a memo to look like a comic. Another thing is, in the process of boiling the stylized elements of the average comic book script down to this socialistic watered-down filth, there are vital flaws in how the characters of our English alphabet was structured to be. For instance, Comic Sans' kerning is broken within the default of the typeface itself. Kerning is the distance between characters. The letters "e" "d" and "s" have substantially uneven spacing within themselves, and in relation to each other. Along with that, several of the characters themselves represent as an almost textbook definition of what NOT TO DO when writing letters. The shortened upper curves of the "c" "e" "C" "O" "o" "p" characters (and others of that nature) are 1: inconsistent in relation to each other, and 2: the overall structure of all the characters embody the typical bad habits of handwriting.

The difference is that Comic Sans is permanent. It isn't like handwriting where it can get better with time and practice. No matter how much you want to (WHICH I KNOW YOU DO), you cannot sit and type sentences in Comic Sans over and over again in the aim of having it get any better.

It wont happen. Ever.

The font I like is Friz Quadrata. It's awesome, and either commonly mis-used (in the 80's) or not used at all. The sharp forms of the characters and mix of elegant curvilinear strokes with very sharp and subtle angular peaks and serifs make it almost look dangerous.

Honestly, there is a lot to say about Friz, but I am so overwhelmed with hate for the previously visited "unmentionable" that I feel I may take it out on Friz... and I don't want to ruin our friendship... She's always there for me when I need her.

(how weird is he? he's talking about a font like it's a woman. And now he's talking about himself in the second person. I have a feeling that sleep wont help him at this point.)

DISCLAIMER: THE IMAGES OF ONE OF THE FONTS HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO CAUSE SERIOUS EYE DAMAGE, SEIZURES, INCREASED BLOOD PRESSURE, NAUSEA, PROFUSE VOMITING OF BLOOD, AND DEATH. IF YOU HAVE ANY EXISTING HEART CONDITIONS, NEUROLOGICAL CONDITIONS, CURRENTLY MEDICATED FOR DEPRESSION OR ANXIETY, OR PREGNANT, PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE VIEWING "Comic Sans".